The ENFJ personality is one of the most people oriented of the types. Their very existence revolves around the growth and developement of others while simultaneously accomplishing their life goal. Their primary function is Extroverted feeling (Fe), otherwise known as objective ethics, and Introverted intuition (Ni), otherwise known as subjective intuition. ENFJs are typically a very dominant personality. They are emotionally constrained but have great difficulty hiding their emotions. When an ENFJ is sad, the entire room becomes sad. when an ENFJ is angry, the entire room can feel it. An angry ENFJ can cause incredible social damage if they have their sights set on a victim, but in direct conflict, they are harmless. They are so confident in their use of Fe, that they have no problem utilizing negative political methods in order to produce a positive outcome down the road. ENFJs can be rather intimidating due to their strong charismatic ability to turn their long line of supporters against any threats that may face the ENFJ.
Males of this type will often put on a disguise of strength, as it adds to their leadership capabilities. To admit weakness is pointless. “Only tell them what they need to know,” many ENFJs will say. Yet behind this facade of strength, prestige, control and success, will almost always be hidden feelings of fear, apprehension, and self criticism. ENFJs are a jealous personality, because one of their greatest difficulties, is getting what they want on their own. Sure, it is easy to get someone to give you what you want, it’s easy to go to the store and buy a snack, but it’s not easy to build your own company infrastructure. It’s not easy to learn all the information required to learn a business. So in order to compensate for this weakness, ENFJs use their charisma to persuade others to accomplish their goals for them.
As ENFJs have a very weak Ti, there is an inherent inability to detect their own identity. Often times ENFJs will organize their rooms and their lifestyles in a system they do not want altered. This system is what defines them. The manner in which their home is decorated, the location of all the decorations… all of these things contribute to the ENFJs personal identity. The weak introverted intuition often times means that ENFJs spend very little time perfecting their knowledge or sorting through their thoughts. Most of their time is spent partying or interacting with other people, to the point that it removes any time they could be spending developing their practical skills, etc.
To say that an ENFJ is not good with people, is simply wrong. They understand people so well, and are so confident in their ability to deal with people, that they often will act on the person’s behalf whether or not the person knows it. If they think its best for the person to be happy, they will manipulate or give the person what that person wants in order to alter that person’s mood. ENFJs feel the emotions of everyone around them at all times, to the point that it is important for them to make sure everyone is happy and content. If someone is disrupting the mood, the ENFJ will gladly walk up to the person and try to change it.
An unhealthy ENFJ will be completely out of touch with their Ti, and be unable to provide positive feedback to themself for their own accomplishments, and be completely dependent on other types to provide this positive reinforcement. They might give and be charitable with the expectation of getting something in return, or they may place themselves into a leadership situation that forces their supporters to provide positive feedback, such as having a large list of friends who are much younger than they are, who naturally look up to the ENFJ for their age and experience. Some ENFJs will identify with having tons of friends, but still feel very lonely and misunderstood.
Physically, ENFJs are emotionally constrained, and rather slow moving. Their appearance is somewhat sluggish. Like ENTJs, they suffer from a lack of motivation in getting started. The energy and stepping stone to get started are always the hardest things to find. They depend on others’ enthusiasm and drive to help them accomplish their goals. With a primary objective ethical function, they are completely dependent on others’ opinions in order to determine their identity. Only through meditation and repetitive practice will they get in touch with their own subjective identities.
ENFJs, unfortunately, have a weak sense of self. When extroverted feeling takes over, the ENFJ is completely dependent on other people for validation. They need to be told they are an awesome person, in order to believe they are actually awesome. If you tell an ENFJ they are an idiot, or clumsy, if you are close to them or important in their life in some way, they will most likely believe you, and then start to act out a self fulfilling prophecy. An ENFJ who is in touch with their introverted intuition, uses it on themself. They look at the history of their life, and all of their accomplishment and friends. They remember all the validation they recieved in the past. They remind themselves of this, and they learn to control their own emotional state, and give themselves their own helpful words of recognition. Their need for recognition from others is significantly reduced. Many ENFJs will rush into marriage so that they have someone to compliment them for eternity. This behavior is controlling and needs to be recognized. Stop allowing the words of others to control you, and become your own voice of strength.
ENFJs have a very powerful vision for what they want. There is usually a vision they want to see accomplished, for the betterment of the world. In fact, this goal is usually so ever present in their minds that they get very anxious and impatient when something prohibits them from accomplishing this goal. If they have a job that is not in line with the goal, they are antsy and impatient. Details drive them nuts, and they often wish someone was there to help handle all the details and systematic logic required to accomplish their vision. For this reason, their best match is someone who is willing to submit their life to the ENFJs vision, and execute the plan for them. When an ENFJ is fully self aware, they realize their true purpose on the earth: the gift of compassion and utopian ideals. The ENFJs best match is the ISTP.
Common Identities: The visionary, The Political Leader, the Cult Leader, the Motivational Speaker, The Caretaker, The Secret Gamer.
Recommended Careers: Motivational Speaker, Manager, Trainer, Teacher, Counselor, Life Coach, Artist, Assistant, Party Host, Waiter/Waitress.
Commonly Mistyped as: INFJ, INTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ
Common Enneagram typings: 2 3 4 7
Famous ENFJs include: Charlize Theron, Tony Robbins, Michael Douglas, Bryan Cranston, Christopher Walken, Matthew Perry, Mette Lindberg, Freddie Prince Jr, Bradley Nowell, Jon Lovitz.
Fictional ENFJs include: The Queen (Snow white and the Huntsman), President Snow (The Hunger Games)